Coming home has been VERY tough on all of us. Grace is slowly getting used to Hope. Hope is gated and crated a lot now. When Grace first met Hope she screamed bloody murder. Grace is still not sleeping through the night. She falls asleep between 2:30-4:30 in the a.m. She doesn't want to sleep and screams bloody murder. She doesn't know what she wants...she wants to be held yet she tries to fling herself out of my arms. She doesn't want me to sit down...she hates the ergo carrier. She does the stiff as a board body. She flips and flops and turns a bit blue. She is just plain ol mad! We end up on the floor in my bedroom on a sheet and she falls asleep. She's a very restless sleeper.
She loves KJ, my oldest nephew. She let him brush her hair yesterday. She thinks he's very cool.
We went to the doctor yesterday. I really like our pediatrician, Dr. Oliver. She rocks and got her into the pediatric cardiologist today. That appointment didn't go as well. She had another fit and so they couldn't get any good test results so we have to go to Santa Rosa on Tuesday where she'll be sedated so they can do an echocardiogram. The doctor didn't want to say anything until he sees the true results of the tests. Basically it's the same thing he told me when he reviewed Grace's records when I got her referral: she could be okay or not. He just couldn't say. So, let's hope that things go well. We are going to take it easy the rest of the week and try to get accustomed to things. I want to get her on a schedule to try to make things better for her.
So, how am I doing during this? Taking it day by day and trying not to be as stressed as I really am. I cried all day on Sunday because she was so freaked over Hope. I've lost some weight, like 10 lbs. That's good but not a great way of losing it. I think because I am such a control freak and I hate relying on people so much, I am having a harder time. I'm trying to let go and let things go. You know that phrase, "Let go, let God", I guess I should practice it.