Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It nwas the best of times and the worst of times

Coming home has been VERY tough on all of us. Grace is slowly getting used to Hope. Hope is gated and crated a lot now. When Grace first met Hope she screamed bloody murder. Grace is still not sleeping through the night. She falls asleep between 2:30-4:30 in the a.m. She doesn't want to sleep and screams bloody murder. She doesn't know what she wants...she wants to be held yet she tries to fling herself out of my arms. She doesn't want me to sit down...she hates the ergo carrier. She does the stiff as a board body. She flips and flops and turns a bit blue. She is just plain ol mad! We end up on the floor in my bedroom on a sheet and she falls asleep. She's a very restless sleeper.
She loves KJ, my oldest nephew. She let him brush her hair yesterday. She thinks he's very cool.

We went to the doctor yesterday. I really like our pediatrician, Dr. Oliver. She rocks and got her into the pediatric cardiologist today. That appointment didn't go as well. She had another fit and so they couldn't get any good test results so we have to go to Santa Rosa on Tuesday where she'll be sedated so they can do an echocardiogram. The doctor didn't want to say anything until he sees the true results of the tests. Basically it's the same thing he told me when he reviewed Grace's records when I got her referral: she could be okay or not. He just couldn't say. So, let's hope that things go well. We are going to take it easy the rest of the week and try to get accustomed to things. I want to get her on a schedule to try to make things better for her.

So, how am I doing during this? Taking it day by day and trying not to be as stressed as I really am. I cried all day on Sunday because she was so freaked over Hope. I've lost some weight, like 10 lbs. That's good but not a great way of losing it. I think because I am such a control freak and I hate relying on people so much, I am having a harder time. I'm trying to let go and let things go. You know that phrase, "Let go, let God", I guess I should practice it.


Grace said...

Dear God,

Please watch over Jamie and Grace during these challenging times. Please help Jamie to trust in you and know that all will turn out according to your plan. Guide Jamie, as you did our Mother, Mary,so that she will know that being a MOM is always a challenge, but it is the most fulfilling thing you can do as you overcome each difficulty along the way. Let her see the progress that she and Grace have made in becoming a family in such a short time.

In Jesus name,

Best Friend Sandra said...

Hi Jamie,

I am very sorry about the outcome of the cardiologist visit today. That has to be just maddening, to not have any answers! I think you have some good thinking on spending the rest of this week just getting some kind of routine down. I would suggest to just let Grace throw her fits, and do as you wish (ie. sitting down when you want to, despite her protest), BUT she turns blue when she gets upset - and we don't want that.

Does she like being outdoors? Maybe for a change of pace, spread a big ol' quilt in the backyard in the morning (when it's cool), throw some toys out there, some snacks (her fav of bananas), and drinks, and have some fun. Sounds like you both could use some relaxation time.

As for KJ, I have found that when Holly gets in her moods, other kids take her right out of it. It's weird - it's like kids themselves are "kid whisperers".

I wanted to offer you something - what if you let us take Hope for awhile while you guys are getting accustomed, and on the other side of the heart issues? It is no trouble at all for us, we already have 2 dogs that are old and tired - Hope would be fun for them. Think about it,and let me know.

Thanks for keeping me abreast. And as always, whatever you need, I am there.

XoXo - Sandra

alexnjamesmom said...


I finished Grace's blanket. How would you like me to get it to you? I can leave it at the school, I can meet you somewhere, or I can being it by your house. Just let me know (kstokinger@yahoo.com or 863-5065)


Melissa said...

Dear Grace,

I e-mailed you before you left for China. Our son is from the same orphanage. We had some of the same sleep issues. It will get better, just hang in there! Also, we found that the lollipops work well during echocardiograms. ; ) Do you have any Chinese videos? Here is a link to some:

Our son LOVES them. It really helped him calm down at the hospital after surgery. We take them to the cardiologist anytime we go for him to watch during echo's, etc.

You are in my prayers!

Melissa S.