One step back backward

We had a setback this afternoon. Grace's oxygen level wouldn't elevate. It was staying in the 60s and 50s. What also didn't help was that she was agitated. It became grand central station in her room as it got worse and worse. They had to do chest x-rays and an echocardiogram. They tried a variety of things and discovered there was fluid on her lungs. They had seen it earlier but didn't think it was a concern. I guess it was or it became one. They suspect that it might have caused some of the problems. So, we had to leave and they had to knock her out and put in a chest drain. They might have to do another on the other side. They are concerned that once she wakes from the meds, she's going to go back down and then they will most likely have to put her back on the respirator. It has been a very challenging day. I hated the fact that I had to help restrain my child when she was flailing and trying to get the tubes off her face. She's so scared and doesn't understand what's going on and it kills me. Sandra is right that I should go into the bathroom, get a good cry and take a nap...unfortunately, I can't nap because I'm a little anxious and I'm afraid if I cry, I won't be able to stop. Just say a little prayer that it's a small bump and all will be well tomorrow. I'm just taking a big ol breath and taking it an hour at a time.