When you are a single girl, people are always telling you whenever you find peace in your situation and accept it, then that's when love happens, when you least expect it. In my case it's a special needs referral. It's a different kind of love. When I put in my waiting childo application to my agency, I really didn't think anything would come of it. I told God if it was His will, then he will so bless me with a waiting child referral. I really had already accepted the long wait and I was really and truly in a place of acceptance and was for once in my life at peace with it. So, you can imagine my surprise at 3 a.m. this past Thursday morning when my special needs stork called and told me about a little about her and sent me her file. I was excited and exhausted and extremely cautious. I refused to look at her picture until I did more research on her special need. I only had 48 hours to decide to accept or decline. I spent most of Thursday in a fog trying to get a hold unsuccessfully of my doctors but I found an angel of mercy in Dr. Diane McMains (she rocks!) She and her nurse went over the files along with a nurse practitioner. Then she sent the files to a colleague. I also sent them to a children's hospital in Philly to make double make sure I would be going into this with my eyes open. You know, the bottom line is that it's a giant leap of faith, no matter how much information you get. Being the person that I am, I wanted to make sure I took an educated leap of faith. In the end, I have decided to accept the referral. I am now awaiting PA and all the other acronyms that are associated with special needs adoption process. If all goes well, I should be traveling early this summer. I now have a big long list that I'm continually adding to in order to make sure that I'm ready for my daughter and for my journey to China. I'm still so keyed up that I'm waking up way earlier than I need to. I hope eventually I will be able to sleep past 5:30. I think I will tonight. I am exhausted.