Zoo Life

My life is very zoolike. I've recently come to this realization after we went to the zoo with Mended Little Hearts on Saturday. We had a good time but it was hot. We went to the toddler area which had this mossy ground and Grace did not want to step on it. It totally freaked her out. So did the bouncy yellow thing that I put her on. She loved the animals especially the monkey and the elephants. We stayed only until noon and then she crashed in the car on the way home.

So, back to the why my life is like a zoo...well, it's messy, chaotic,wild but at the same time fun and natural. My house is a mess, like the zoo, but people don't seem to mind. Even when Grace and I are cranky, people still want to see us and Grace especially is the main attraction. Everybody wants to hang with that girl. I think she likes it.

We've also discovered that my child is a Miss Bossy thang! She wants to be in the control seat. She will put your hand where she wants it and she is very demanding. Yikes...can't wait until she's a teenager or pre-teen!

Keeping my head above water

I think my main focus to keep myself from drowning. I think that is the main goal for most single parents. We really aren't focused on the strokes or where we are going. We are just trying to keep are heads above water. I'm getting pretty adept at treading water.

The hardest part is not being able to stay at home with her. I have to work and so I have to leave her with my parents. I feel incredibly guilty for disrupting their lives and that my daughter spends more time with them than I get to. We talked about this before the adoption at great length. I think it is hitting them and they are realizing how much she has impacted their lives. I don't know if they realized how much she was going to disrupt their lives. Grace is blossoming being with them. She's learning lots of thing including holding her spoon, the baby sign for my dad and lots of other things. I'm so thankful for them but I worry that it is too much! We are looking at possibly mother's day out or part time day care soon so she can be with other kiddos. I anticipate sleep issues again because every time her schedule gets disrupted, it shows in her sleep.

She's getting another molar on top...poor baby. She can't stop cutting teeth. She's growing and is babbling a lot more. She hates PT (physical therapy) but is daredevil at home and at my parents' house. I think she has some acrobat blood in her veins.

A Good Day

This was our first full week of me working and Gracie staying with Grammy & Pa. It has been difficult on Gracie adjusting to the new schedule. It isn't that she doesn't like or it doesn't like Grammy & Pa. I think it's because she's had another disruption, doesn't get it and doesn't feel safe again. It's like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. So, she's really clingy in the mornings and she gets cranky and fussy in the afternoon. She gets frustrated a lot more easily. I understand...I feel bad for her because I don't have a lot of control and because she's so young, it's hard for her to understand that I have to work. My parents have been awesome throughout this though I think this has been incredibly difficult on my mom both physicallyand emotionally. One of the neat things that has resulted out of the situation is that Grace has a stronger bond with my dad. I think it's good for the both of them. She even cried for him when she saw the EKG machine coming into the room. I think at first she thought it was for her but when she saw them putting the electrodes on my father, she still cried. Poor baby. She is a bit traumatized.

Today though was a good day because we got to spend the whole day together with my sister and her kids. Gracie loves them all. We went to our church festival where she slept for an hour and a half while we played Bingo. We came home and played and then met up with Grammy & Pa for dinner. Miss Anna knows Gracie loves her potato soup so she had some leftover from the previous day (it wasn't on the menu this evening) and she heated it up for her. YUM!

Just thinking about that small act of kindness really made me think of how blessed we have been. People have enfolded us and given us such love, compassion and support. I can't tell you how it makes me feel...it's so overwhelming how much love we have been given and continue to get and I'm so greatful and thankful that I don't have the words to express how grateful I am.

My Daughter Cracks Me Up

Grace, I'm sure like all other children is one of the funniest people that I know. I have decided to share a couple of my Grace funny stories. Some of the stories make me look like a fool, but if they make you laugh, it's worth it.

Today, we ate at Souper Salads and my mom gave Grace and ice cream cone. I also had one. I guess I opened my mouth really wide and shoved the whole end of the cone into my mouth and I looked over at Grace and she had her mouth opened really wide showing all her chewed up food...I guess that is what I had looked like! It was pretty funny how accurately she captured my feeding frenzy moment.

Grace can be clingy sometimes, especially in the mornings. This means she'll go with you when you have to go to the bathroom. So, if you are going #2, she will pinch her nose to let you know that it's pretty stinky in the bathroom.

Finally, this is the most embarassing Grace story for me. I was washing up in the bathroom the other morning and of course, it's morning and Grace wants to be where I am. She was brushing her own teeth with her beaver toothbrush while I was starting to get my clothes on. She looks at my naked downstairs parts, looks and her toothbrush and well, you can guess what she thought...hmmmm, my beaver toothbrush could be used to brush mommy's downstair's parts! Good thing I stopped her when I saw the toothbrush coming at me. I don't know what was worse, that it was a beaver toothbrush or that she even thought to brush that part of me! It was pretty embarassing.

When she gets older, I'm sure these stories will amuse her. It's my second week back at work and it's going well but I miss the heck out of having Grace with me all of the time. She is still in physical and occupational therapy and is progressing. I hope it continues to go well. I have to say I'm so blessed in life. My daughter has made me a better person.

We Survived Our First Day

Gracie and I did good today! We made it through our first day back in the real world of mama working. My day was super long...I dropped her off at 7 a.m. for my 7:30 a.m. meeting and we had Greenback Night and I didn't get home until after 8 p.m. Can you say YUCKY! The best thing about my job are the people that I work with. Wood truly has a phenomenal staff. They never cease to amaze me with the way they open their arms and hearts to you and they are so supportive! It made my day back great.

The hardest part was leaving. When I was pulling out of my parents' driveway, Grace waved at me and blew me kisses. I wanted to cry but I of course, didn't let myself cry because I didn't have waterproof mascara and I didn't want to look like a blubbering dork in my Team Leader's Meeting. Eventually I will let it out...I'm just glad she's upstairs sleeping and I can hear her sucking sounds on the monitor and the clanking of her bracelets on the crib slats when she rolls over. She's the best and I'm so lucky!

3 Months!

I cannot believe my daughter and I have been a family for 3 months now. It seems like she's been part of my life forever, even when she's having a mini meltdown. We've had an interesting past few days. My parents were out of town and Grace and I had such a good bonding time. We shopped, we ate, we played. We also had to go back to Santa Rosa hospital on Friday because the top of her incision looked angry and I thought it was because of her drool...turns out she popped stitch so we are now on antibiotics and we are keeping it covered. We had to go see Dr. Hussein this morning at Santa Rosa because I wasn't sure it was getting better but it turns out it's okay.

We also went to my cousin's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, my cousin Ashley looked gorgeous and Grace did really well. She has discovered walking up and down the stairs which wore me and I don't have the health issues she has.

Tomorrow, I go back to the real world. I am going to miss my girl. What sucks is that I have a 7:30 meeting and it's greenback night so I won't be home until after 7:30 p.m. YUCK!

Shopping!

Grace and I took a shopping trip to San Marcos today to look for a dress for my cousin's wedding this weekend and to get some shoes for her (and some school clothes for me). She was SOOOO good! She got a little frustrated with me in the Talbot's dressing room but overall can I just say Wow! She was holding onto my hand and walking everywhere. She was so proud of herself. She liked to hang out under the racks. Children's Place was having one heck of a sale...capris for $.99 and t-shirts for $1.99. I only got a couple of sets though. I found some good buys at Talbots and Old Navy. Of course, my daughter won over the salesladies at Talbots and as we left, she blew them kisses! I wanted to look for shoes for me but we were running out of time. Grace got some new tennis shoes at Stride Rite. She let the lady measure her foot and she walked for us. She is now wearing 5.5 (she measures a 5, but 5.5 so she can grow into them)! When Grace came home in June, she was a size 4! It must be the hot dogs, mac and cheese, yogurt, cheese sticks, french fries and ice cream that are helping that girl grow. As for the dress, I bought one at Gymboree but I found one I liked better at Stein Mart (yes, I went to Marshalls and Stein Mart after the outlet because she was asleep in the car and I didn't want to wake her up so I extended the car trip by 15 minutes so she could catch more zzzz's). I guess I'll take the other dress back.

So, I think I have found my shopping buddy. It is hard sometimes trying on clothes with her but if she's out of the stroller and walking around, she does all right (and also with snacks). It was a good day. Every day I fall more in love with my daughter. She never ceases to amaze me or surprise me with a new part of her personality.