Sunday, December 16, 2007

Cure for the Christmas Blues

For those of us who have been waiting and waiting and waiting, the holidays, especially Christmas are trying times for us. In our minds we are picturing celebrating these joyous days with our children who we have been waiting for. The realization that it's not going to be this year is heartbreaking for most of us. Last year our thought was, "I'll have her this time next year." That thought again is playing through our minds like a broken record. We have to hold onto these little pieces of hope so we can keep our sanity. We have well-meaning relatives and friends asking us the one million dollar question of when the joyous day will occur which is like a knife in our guts. We don't know and we have to remember that they don't get our pain and that they really are well-meaning when they ask these questions (these questions that make us want to poke our eyes out with spoons!). We also go shopping and see children who might resemble our children on Santa's lap or we go into stores and see cute outfits or toys that we want to get for our children. It makes it hurt that much more and the holidays become something that depresses us. I'm tired of being sad and depressed. So, I have to gear up (gird my loins as it was said in The Devil Wears Prada) put on my smilesand take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. I have decided that this Christmas, I am going to do a little retail therapy and focus on my family, friends and my furry baby, Hope. I am going to sing Christmas carols as loud as I can when I'm in my car. I'm decorating my Christmas tree and putting the wreath on my door. I'm going to send out Christmas cards. Finally, I'm going to do a lot of praying for all of us that we will see positive movement in our waiting line and I'm going to pray for patience for all of us. I tell you, I'm singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer pretty loud right now and it feels better (my neighbors might not think so) and I've got some Christmas cookies for breakfast and I'm thinking, I'm going to be all right. We all will. We can make it!

BTW...they took the lump from Shannon and it turns out it didn't go into her lymph nodes. That was my Christmas miracle (because they said it was a fast moving, active cancer). So, this leads me to believe that all things are possible and this truly is my cure for my Christmas blues.