Sunday, April 29, 2007

Viva Fiesta

Yesterday I got to be part of the King William Parade. We were the honor guard for the Grand Marshall (author Rick Riordin). I don't know if I told you that I started a Cool Guys Read book club and a local columnist wrote about what I was doing in his column. It us noticed. In fact, not only did it land us the part of the honor guard, but the author of the first book we read wants to have a phone interview with all of my boys, which is really exciting. I just got the e-mail on Thursday and I'm going to set it up. The parade was fun, although a bit sweaty because of the high humidity. It was weird strolling down the route because last year I had been a parade spectator. Now I was seeing it from the other end. It was a sea of faces that blended together. I got my dream of being Miss Fiesta (kind of, but not really). It was fun waving to all of the people. What I enjoyed most was the food. Shannon and I gobbled down waaaaay too much but we enjoyed it anyways.

I have also been thinking about the Waiting Child list. There was one girl who really touched my heart. The more I thought about her, the more I got more excited about the prosect of bringing her home. The problem is however, her special needs may be more than I can handle as a single parent. I was telling my parents and my friends that I have looked at the list and no child on previous lists has ever even tempted me to move to the SN route, except for this little girl. I have been praying about this for the past two days. I'm not really sure if I could handle the emotional roller coaster of surgeries this little girl would have to go through. Besides that, I'm not sure if the surgery would be the total solution...would there be other repercussions as a result? And finally, would my insurance cover these issues? The more and more I prayed and talked, the more and more I was convinced that I'm not her forever family. My heart is a bit broken and I'm grieving, but I know in my heart of hearts, that waiting is truly the right thing for me as hard as the wait has been. My prayer is that if I was so moved, someone else who has better resources would be as well and can provide her with a loving forever family. She wasn't my Grace but I know she is someone else's. I pray for both of them.

Today, I go and visit Miss Holly so I can get my baby fix. I'm still in a positive mood. I will be getting Grace this year. She will be coming home in 2007. I know lots of people are skeptical and are trying to prepare themselves for the worst, but I know I won't be disappointed. Everything is God's will.