Waiting Teaches Patience

So, it's Sunday and I have been in process for now, let's see about a year. I started looking into adoption at the beginning of October of last year and was accepted into the program, December 23rd of 2005. I started my paperwork in January, was DTC May 19 2006 and was LID May 24, 2006. It's looking to be a 14-18 month wait. Hmmmm, this gets me to thinking what other animals have long gestational periods. Being the awesome librarian I am, I did some research. Elephants have a 22 month gestational period. Killer whales are pregnant for about 517 days or almost 17 months. Sperm whales average 14 months. Giraffes have 14 months and rhinos 16 months. Camels typically have a 15 month gestational period. So, if these animals can do it, so can I. I have decided that there are good things about waiting for my daughter. I am the eternal optimist. I have again created a top 10 list on why the wait is good.

10. I can still watch my favorite reality shows like Amazing Race, Survivor and America's Top Model

9. I can catch all the movies at the movie theater

8. I can start Chinese class all over again and NOT drop out

7. I can learn to be a better cook

6. I have more time to save $$$$$

5. I can go to Vegas with my friends

4. I have time to get my house cleaned and organized and kid-safe

3. I have time to make Grace's room spectacular

2. I will have time to learn all the cool, fun, kiddie shows

1. I am learning patience

Chinese School Drop Out

Okay, it's official. I am a Chinese school drop out. I decided it was best for me at this time to drop the class. It was every Wednesday from 6:30 to 9 p.m. I have learned that I am NOT a good sitter, especially a long day at work. I would stay at school until 5:00 and then go home, let out Hope and then leave again for the torture of being called on and not pronouncing correctly in front of my classmates and not getting it. It was also very informal and without a lot of visual aid, which doesn't suit my learning style. I felt like a big 'ol flopping fish on the river bank struggling for air. At least I learned the important phrases like Hello, thank you, and my name is...I struggled with this decision, but in the end I feel good about it. Deep down, I think I was frustrated that I wouldn't be using it any time soon. So, I have decided to wait and take another class with my mother in the spring with a different teacher. To commemorate my decision, I have composed a top 10 list of why I'm glad that I have become a Chinese School Drop Out

10. I can watch America's Top Model in real time
9. I can eat Wednesday dinner more slowly (I can actually cook!)
8. I don't have to rush out of Wednesday afternoon faculty meetings (teachers weren't appreciating me running over them in the parking lot)
7. I can get my laundry done
6. I don't have to spend the rest of the week studying so I wouldn't look stupid in class
5. I don't have to listen to my classmate talk about how horrible her million dollar house turned out
4. I have time to tutor my nephew two times a week
3. If my mom wants to go to Kohl's for Senior Citizen discount shopping at Kohl's, I can take her
2. My dog can pee at her leisure
1. I have a new version of "Beauty School Drop Out" (Chinese School Drop Out...no graduation day for you. Chinese School Drop Out, missed your midterms and flunked Tai Chi")


Yep, feeling better already.

5 Months!

Five months down! Five months down! I can see a dim light. Yippee! As I was walking Hope this evening, I realized, or maybe hoped that next year, maybe I would be walking Hope and pushing Grace in a stroller to visit Grammy & Pa. Hmmmm, it can happen. Only time will tell.

I'm Such a Bad Doggie Mom

I have to confess, I'm a horrible doggie mom. My poor dog, Hope...I've been neglectful with her time-wise this weekend. I had the school rummage sale on Saturday and I had to be at school at 7 a.m. (earlier than usual). I was up at 5:30 out the door by 6:15 (so I could get tacos). I didn't get home until after 4. I had 5:30 Mass and then I was home for about 15 minutes before I went to the movies with my friend, D. I got home close to 11 and of course, I went to bed. Then this morning, I was up early again to eat breakfast with my friends, Valorie, her hubby Jack and their baby, Gabrielle and D. I didn't get home until 10 and then what did I do? Sleep until 1. Then I went with my mom, sister and niece to get her some clothes and then to dinner and didn't get home until almost 7. So now I am finally at home. Instead of our usual 1.2 mi walk/jog, I decided to just run around the block with her. Poor Hope. I would chew my sofa pillows too out of frustration. Right now she is laying on the landing looking at me with her soulful brown eyes. Even though it's dark and cool, I'm going to go out and play some fetch with her for a bit. I know it doesn't make up for not being home, but I hope, it will help her with her excessive energy. Next weekend, I'm going to the Renaissance Festival with my best friend and her husband and his friend in Plantersville, near Houston. I'm going to have my parents check in on her. My dad LOVES my dog and he'll give her lots of love. I'll be leaving early and coming home late but I plan on staying home with her on Sunday. So, what's the point of this blog? Is it just my confession to free my conscience? Maybe a little bit. But, it is helping me realize that the life I'm currently leading is going to be changing in the near future. You know, I'm actually excited about not having to be responsible for Student Council next year. It's fun, but it takes a lot of time and hard work.

I'm also a bad daughter. If my mother or father is reading this blog, I'm sorry for being so impatient. My mom, bless her heart, isn't the most savvy with technology. But she tries. She calls me up a bit ago asking me about an attachment and how to work it. For all of you visual and kinestetic learners, you can understand my frustration. She's asking questions and because I'm not there, it's hard for me to troubleshoot and walk her through. When I finally understand what she needs, she unfortunately doesn't have the background knowledge (let me throw in a good ol educational word, schema) to accomplish the task. Now, she only lives a half a mile away and I could have gone over there, but I was in the middle of getting my squares done for my GWCA group quilt (sorry, I'm a bit late on it!) finished and doing laundry and I was in my pjs. I told her that I'd go over tomorrow and fix it for her. I feel a bit guilty for being a bit snappy and not as helpful as I should be. The lesson I learned is that I need to stop, breathe, take it one step at a time and breathe again before I speak. Breathe in and breathe out. I think I can do that. I'm sorry Mom!

Dreams & Gifts

I wanted to post this yesterday but I had such a bad headache that I ended up in bed by 8:30 last night. But even though I had a crazy and hectic day, it was a good and enlightening day.

So, let me start with the dream that I had the night before last (Monday night 10/16/06). I had this weird dream that I was laying in bed, alone and I was pregnant. The worst part was that I was going into labor. It was one of those vivid dreams where you can feel the pressure and the pain. I couldn't get up out of bed and had to call my parents to come get me. So, I really didn't think anything of the dream since most of you know that I have some pretty weird dreams until I was telling my friend, D about it. My other friend said, "Hey! Maybe it means that your baby is being born right now in China!" How cool is that? That thought never even occured to me. For a girl who is all about the signs, I totally missed that boat. So, this is now an encouraging sign for me.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is the package that Trisha from my MayDTC 2006 group sent me. It was the COOLEST! I got, okay, Grace got, these fun CDS, alphabet DVDs, books (and this is PERFECT because she IS the daughter of a Librarian!) and hair things, which I think I'm going to start using because they are super cute! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It truly made my day. It's like when you find money in a pair of jeans or a jacket that had been washed or you hadn't worn in a while. It makes you that happy!

Patience
By Guns N' Roses
BestAudioCodes.com

Waiting Children

The Waiting Child list came out on Friday afternoon. I decided I had to look at it, not so much as to find my daughter, but in a way, it gives me a little hope. I checkekd it out and find out that my daughter isn't on that list. There are 30 children and I know there is going to be a lot of competition for them. This is great. I hope these children find a wonderful home. I wonder how many people are considering SN children because the wait for NSN is so long. All I know is that there is a reason for my wait. Only God knows what it is so I'm going to be patient. There is a saying by St. Thomas Aquinas that says that being patient is one of the best ways of doing God's will (or something like that). Let go, let God. It has taken me a long time to accept that. Patience is not one of my best virtues. But, I'm working on it.

In the meantime, I'm getting things together for the school rummage sale next Saturday. I'm trying to get Grace's room together and teach Hope not to be so spazzy.

Family & Friends

Family...it's a great thing. I love my family. We're almost cult-like, at least mine is. We BBQued today at my parents' house. It was the maiden voyage of their new swanky gas grill. I had never cooked on one and I got a couple of burns, but I'll survive. There's something about cooking for the ones that you love. You're willing to eat last to make sure everyone else eats. Of course, my beloved dog, Hope had to help herself to some hot dog buns on the kitchen counter much to my chagrin.

Last night I went to see Open Season with my friend, D and her cousins. It was funny. I leaned over to her cousin who is expecting at the end of the month and said, "This is probably going to be one of the last movies you get to go to alone." It hit me then that this would be true of me in the near future. It's so strange to think that I can't just jump up and go to a movie and not think about someone at home or getting a babysitter. I guess, it made me realize that now is the time to see all the movies I want before my Grace comes into my life.

It's also going to be the last Ren Fest that Sandra, Rex and I go to for a long time. Both of us are expecting (Sandra is due in April). I think this is going to be even more special for us. I can't wait to see that pretzel guy so Rex can laugh his butt off. I guess I should explain. One year, Sandra and I spotted the pretzel guy waaaaay across the stadium (jousting arena) and we yelled to each other pretzels! He said we nearly knocked him and other people over to reach the guy. He said he'd never seen anybody run so fast. We love our carbs! I'm going to miss that, but both of us will have something even better than pretzels. Hmmmm, pretzels!

Skipping Chinese Class AGAIN!

Okay...so it's the guilty Catholic girl in me and I feel I must confess...I skipped Chinese class again. I've come up with many different reasons to make myself feel less guilty and here they are: I got out late of my meeting and I would only have half an hour to eat, take care of my dog and frankly I feel bad about leaving Hope by herself ALL DAY long (class doesn't get out until 9 p.m.); I am exhausted from work and had a headache; the first class was a total bust (it was like learning Chinese a la Tigger...bouncing all around); I'm not going to China until summer or fall so I have time; my $72 is going to a good cause no matter if I go or not; and finally, it's not like my daughter is going to be speaking Chinese when I get her. Do I feel better that I have confessed? No, not really. Maybe I should go to confession for patoral absolution. I just hate being a big ol quitter. Will I ever go back? Probably not. I didn't feel very comfortable in the first place and I need structure in learning a new language. I think I'm going to try tapes (maybe).

So, we got our update and I'm still pending review. I hope that will go without any hitches but I'm knocking on wood as I say that.

Did I tell you that Hope was in trouble today? She chewed up another square. She's so in trouble. She knew it too. I'm going to have to keep everything waaaaaay up high. I guess it's like prepping for a baby.

Mailman Frustration

Can I tell you how frustrated I am with our mail system? Yesterday, I got a key in my mailbox for a package. I was expecting 2 from my cybershower buddies. Guess what? The key didn't fit the package holder for my pod but it fit the one next to it. I figured, my package was in there. Guess what? It was somebody elses. I delivered it to them and they didn't have their key. I called the post office this morning and of course, the mailman wasn't the one doing the delivery yesterday. It was somebody else. But I told him I was waiting on 2 packages and I told him about my dilemma. Today, on my porch were 2 packages. One was one of the ones I was expecting. The other was a diaper bag from similac (which is super cool). I hope the other package isn't lost. I'm giving it a week. But, I LOVE what Donna gave me. It's the cutest! It's 2 bathing suits, a cover up and a hat. Grace is gonna be one cute beach bunny! I'm posting the picture of it.

Yesterday I also found one of my quilt squares chewed by my dear dog, Hope. I am going to send a new one to the person who it was supposed to go to. Hope has a penchant for anything cotton. I mean anything. Undies, t-shirts, socks, you name it she chews it. She's only a year so she's still puppy. That girl is going to test my patience. I guess it's a warm up of what is to come.

I went to dinner with two of my friends along with Gabster (Valorie's babinka). She is too cute! She's got the poutiest lips and the cutest teeth that are coming in. She is like a little doll. I've decided that when Denise gets her baby, we'll be the united colors of Benneton. Gabster is blonde/blue eyed, my Gracie will be Asian and I have a feeling that Denise will have a different culture baby than ours. I love it.