Tuesday, August 30, 2011

We're Home and I'm back at work

We came home Friday afternoon.  Gracie was antsy to get back home.  She's done incredibly well with spending most of her summer in the hospital.  I don't know if she's quite processed everything.  I know I'm still processing things.  I know that my daughter is a miracle child.  I know that there were a couple of times I almost didn't have my daughter.  I know that I still get a little emotional when I talk about some of those times.  I feel guilty sometimes because my parents have been watching Gracie while I have been at work this week.  I don't ever want to feel like I'm taking advantage of them.  They have pretty much been my main support system as far as the actual physical care of Gracie.  Everybody else I know has to work like me.  I worry about my job,  falling behind, and getting my pay docked.  I also worry about another trip to the hospital.   I keep telling myself that I have to do what I have to do and God will provide.  He always does.  I also have to keep telling myself that Gracie is going to be okay. She knows herself.  She used to want to wear her canulas for oxygen the second time we came home.  This time she says she doesn't need it.  I think she does though, at least some of the time.

Gracie is doing okay.  Her sats were a bit better in the hospital but she's also been more active.  She's been playing like mad, singing along to the Fresh Beats,watching Hello Kitty and Ni Hao Kai Lan.  She has also been acting out more, especially in the evenings when she's tired.  It got to the point one night that she ended up sleeping in her own bed in her own room.  She stayed there until 4 a.m. when she appeared on the side of the bed, sweet as pie, wanting to sleep with me.  Of course I let her.  We go to the cardiologist tomorrow and to play therapy to help her deal with her anxiety issues and the big changes in her life.  I am praying for good news and I think the therapy will be good for all of us.