I'm a Big 'Ol Slacker

Hi, my name is Jamie and I'm a big ol slacker. But I have finally come back to my senses even though this is the first week back to school (which is very hectic and crazy especially with sixth graders wandering aimlessly throughout the school because they are lost and unsure of where they are supposed to go and don't even know when it's time to leave or how to even leave the building). Today I wrote my check to my agency with my renewal contract so that I can get my homestudy updated. I will mail it first thing tomorrow. I have already had my physical (I got the results today and basically I'm still in good health but I need to lay off the sweets and breads and exercise more thus started Weight Watchers yesterday and joined a gym to up my exercise of walking Hope). My next step is beginning the renewal process of the lovely I-171H. I know that I will NOT have to renew again. I keep saying that...it's a new mantra for me.

I can't believe that it has been 15 months since LID. Time really has flown by fast. I'm thinking it will keep whizzing by and it will soon be time for me to get Grace. There is still a small part of me hoping for this year but it's teeny tiny when you look at stats. But, you know, stranger things have happened.

Tomorrow, Shannon and I are going to see Def Leppard and she got our seats upgraded to a box. Yippee! I'm so excited...I'm going out on a school night. I might not feel so excited on Friday morning though.

Frustrations

I don't know about those of you who are waiting, like me, but aren't you get frustrated with people asking when over and over and over after you have already told them you don't know? And then they say, "It's taking too long!" Okay, first of all, THEY aren't the ones waiting to be the parent. Can they get that if it's frustrating for them then how frustrating it must be for the people waiting? I'm really polite but I'm really tired of rehashing and explaining the whole process. I'm glad they are excited but I'm tired of the questions right now. I'm under a lot of stress already with the new regime at my school. It seems that I'm in a constant battle with our relatively new AP who now thinks he's God and that he's always right and hasn't a clue of what the library needs to do and what our role really is (he's only 30, first time AP (assistant principal...only been with us since April or May and his only education experience is an upper and upper middle class middle school...we're a blue collar school). Anyways, I just wanted to vent and now I feel better. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Back to Work

This week I am back at work. I was glad to be back to get away from family drama, but I'm sad my summer has come to an end. We have a new principal and 18 new teachers! Wow! I think one of our new teachers, I taught her in 5th grade (actually I was the student teacher, but same thing!) I always thought it was weird that I worked with some of my former teachers (I still work with my 8th grade English teacher) but now I feel OLD! Oh well. The rain is causing MAJOR leaks in the school's roof that just got replaced this summer. Lucky for me that my library is okay (it had been leaking before).

My grandparents are in the nursing home. I think it's been an okay adjustment. My grandmother told me she wants to go home. We went to visit this weekend and it was tough seeing them there. I can understand why some people don't go visit their loved ones there because not only is it sad, it's because you feel horrible and guilty that you couldn't care for them yourself and they lost their independence and can't stay in their own home. I know this is the best thing for them care-wise, but I can't help but feel sad. I think I'll be going again this weekend. My mom is having a super hard time with this as well.

So, I'm getting closer to 15 months of waiting. People are still asking me "When is that baby coming already?" I have to just smile and sigh and say that am hoping soon and then I have to explain everything. Sometimes I wish I had a video or recording so I wouldn't have to go over it so many times. Geez. I need to find a humorous answer so I won't feel so frustrated.

A Wild Hair

I had an interesting evening that ended with a wild hair that I hope will bring me and other waiting families luck that the wait will get better. My friend, D, has a friend who works for the WNBA and we were able to go to the game tonight, courtesy of this friend. We had FLOOR seats that were awesome. Our hometown team won! Yippee! It was close though. Then, on the way home, I got this wild hair. I decided to go get a tattoo of a ladybug on my instep. I know it sounds crazy but I have been chewing in this for a while. D had just said she kept seeing ladybugs everywhere and it really got me thinking so I thought, why not now? It's teeny tiny and it's in a place that it's not on display. It didn't take long and it didn't hurt too much. So, hopefully it will bring us all luck.

Feed Me Seymour!

Today I went with my best friend, Sandra to Ikea to buy these bags for her math teachers. I have to say, she has one of THE BEST babies in the world. Holly is super sweet. She is a good passenger in the car. She is only 3 1/2 months old. As we were leaving, the hunger hit her hard and fast. She turned 10 different shades of red as she let us know that she was starving! Poor Sandra was working as fast as she could to check out and get Holly's bottle warmed up. She did it but as we were driving home she said she was embarassed that people were staring at her. She didn't do anything wrong. She was very calm and she was trying to calm her baby as well, but we all know that sometimes babies are just too upset to calm down right away (just like big people! heck when I'm hungry I want food right then and I get grumpy too!) It made me think, that's probably going to happen to me too. So, I am getting read to gear myself up for stares of people when my child has a meltdown in public. I think I should start reading up on the topic.

I also found out today that my grandparents are going into the nursing home on Thursday. I visited with my grandmother on Sunday and I know this is going to devestate her. Unfortunately, this is the kind of care she needs. I hear my grandfather knows and my friend Denise has already warned me to be prepared for his wrath of anger because he is losing his independence. I'll be there Thursday. I'm not sure I want to but my mom asked and I will always try to support her.

The stork landings and my liver in a quiver

The stork landed yesterday. I have to confess that I am back to checking out RQs site. I don't know if I am taking everything said seriously...more like with a grain of salt. I love her site most when she posts the blogs of those who get their babies. I love, LOVE, to see their beautiful little faces. Some look sweet, some have that mischievous sparkle in their eyes, some look very serious and some have that dreamy look. I love to check out their clothing and hairstyles. It used to be very bittersweet for me (I was sad it wasn't me but happy for those who got their children) but now it's like hope for me. It makes me happy and I can for a second imagine myself on that day (soon! it will be sooner than we all think) waiting to get "The Call" and seeing Grace for the first time. If I'm crying for other people, I can only imagine how I'm going to be. Geez. But congrats to all those families seeing their childrens' faces.

You're probably wondering about the liver in a quiver thing. On the cruise, I got acupuncture to help my headaches (and it was a little late but it helped my seasickness as well as my headaches). The actupuncturist was telling me that all the diet sodas and other junk I was eating was damaging my liver and that was part of the reason I was having headaches. So, now everytime I see a soda I hear his voice and it literally puts my liver into a quiver! I wanted to have a soda today and started drinking one but it didn't taste good! He told me a good alternative was kambucha tea (I know I misspelled it but that's okay). I got the citrus one and basically it tastes like Fresca but with vinegar or it tastes like Alka Seltzer! Yuck! Guess I'm going back to iced tea and water! Oh well.

I'm posting my favorite picture from the trip. My mom and the fruit lady in Jamaica. It cracks me up!