Getting ready to mourn...

Today, I was going to write about how I finally finished Grace's 100 wishes quilt (it's uh, well, completed and definitely not perfect.) I also wanted to write about my first day back at work (good and interesting) and I wanted to talk about how we've finally finished the January 2006 LIDs (Yeehaw). However, after hearing my mom's conversation with one of my aunts, I feel compelled to write about my grandather. My grandfather has always been a very strong man in my life. He was a silent aztec warrior. He would quietly tell you things or give you warnings, but he let you make the decisions and accept the consequences (like when I wanted to know how a car cigarette lighter worked and he told me but I didn't believe him and stuck my finger on the hot coil because I truly thought a flame would shoot out like a lighter...burnt my finger but he just looked at me and said, ya didn't believe me did ya?" He and my grandmother went into a nursing home last summer and it was probably the toughest thing for not only him, but for all of us who love him. He's been suffering with a brain tumor and in the past six months he has started changing into a totally different man. It was hard for my parents especially to see him suffering and on Saturday, he was put into the hospital for pneumonia. I think I knew it was coming because I had told my friend earlier that morning that I couldn't go to the river with him and his other friends because my grandfather was sick and that I might be needed. I know in my heart that my grandfather is ready to go. I just can feel it. It's going to be soon. We visited him last night and he wasn't really making any sense. He kept saying he saw a baby and a little boy and that people were waiting and that someone was saying hello in his ear. He doesn't want to eat or take his medicine. Today he told my aunt that he was seeing the light and didn't she see the beautiful woman? I heard that my two younger cousins were so upset and just crying. But you know what? I'm more sad for us than him. I have great faith and I know that he is going to a much better place where he is free to be himself again and be without pain. Death is so much harder for the living than the dead. I know he had been afraid before but now I think he is ready. He will always be with us in spirit and he will be an extra angel watching over my girl in China. You know, he's a pretty tenacious guy. Maybe he can get the CCAA to speed up already. So, if you get a chance, say a little prayer for my grandfather that he may get the peace that he wants and deserves. I love you Popo.