Thursday, October 25, 2007


Seventeen months since I have been logged in. Wow! I can't believe it. Here's to a speedup...trying to be positive.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Big Decision

This past weekend, after much, much thought, prayer and discussion with my family, I decided to apply to my agency's waiting child program. This doesn't mean that I will be referred a SN child. It just means that I have allowed this option. This wait had really opened my eyes to the program. I honestly was afraid of dealing with this as a single parent. However, after much consideration, I decided I could. Who knows what will happen. I'll continue the wait for my daughter and I'm going to love and care for her because she is that, my daughter. Honestly, a child who is labeled NSN could have an SN that is not visably apparent. So, we'll see what happens. I honestly haven't a clue.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Disneyland Adventure

A Dream is a wish your heart makes

Can I just say that Disneyland is truly one of the best places to escape? I took my 9 year old niece this past week and we whooped it up like two tween girls. We ate junk, got on rides and laughed, laughed, and laughed. It was a lot of walking, but Space Mountain is so worth it. I was able to escape from my world, into an enchanting world where everything is a bit overpriced, but it's so fun. I discovered that it truly is a small world and that the song is really annoying! We loved Mr. Toad despite the fact he ends up in h-e double hockey sticks (at least that's what we figured...we learned that driving should be done with diligence and caution!) We also found out that the Abominable Snowman is not scary but his sled is one heck of a ride. The wait for Nemo was outrageous so we decided another time to visit with the cute clownfish. It was fun visiting with various Disney characters and seeing the great shows (except The Golden Scream and High School Musical 2, Alex was bummed about them). All I know is that we all need a small break now and then and this was definitely what I needed. I'm so glad my niece thought it was cool to hang with her Aunt Jamie for a few days. I'm glad she's a tough cookie who can withstand getting soaked on Grizzly Rapids and getting a blister on her foot because of the wet socks (I brought dry clothes but not socks, duh!) I'm glad to be home but I can't wait until the next time I can escape to the world of Disney. It is the happiest place on earth.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Time keeps ticking away

Time has gone by fast. I can't believe that it has been two years since I started this process. There have been good days and bad days. This past weekend was a rough one for me. I had to go to my cousin's baby welcome home party. I spent Sunday morning in tears. I'm so sad and frustrated that I started my journey way before she did and here she is now, holding her son. I'm still waiting to hold my daughter. I know that sounds petty but that was how I was feeling. Then I started thinking about how big of a baby I'm being and that some of my fellow waiting famiies have been waiting longer and grieving more because of infertility. How selfish am I? So, I got myself together and went. It was hard, but I went. We all have our good days and our bad days. This was my bad weekend. For all of you waiting, my thoughts and prayers are with all of us that we will have the strength and patience we need to make the wait.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

No referrals for my agency!

The word is that there are no referrals for my agency this round. When I think that it's going to pick up, it downshifts and gets even slower. I guess that's what I get for thinking huh? I am very happy for all of those who did receive their referrals today. They have waited 22 months to hear the magic words "You have a child!" Our day too will come. Let's hope soon.