It's Saturday night and here I am sitting at my laptop just thinking about what I'm going to write. Not much is happening on the adoption forefront. I went to dinner tonight with my best friend, Sandra and her husband Rex. She's pregnant and is due in April. I'm so excited for her. I think I'm living vicariously through her pregnancy since I am unable to have that experience with my own daughter. I ask lots of questions and am so enthusiastic that it probably freaks her out.

I am seriously considering adding my mother's name to my daughter's name of Grace. My mom has done a lot for me. She's helped made me the woman I am today. She's strong and has accomplished a lot. I want my daughter to be as strong as her Grammy. Let's try it out...Grace Maria, Grace Mariah, Grace Marika, Grace Malia...I don't know. I guess we'll see.

Well, another day down. The weekend is almost over. Next week will be a long week. I think I'm going to drop out of Chinese class because I've already missed one class and I think I'm going to have to miss next class for a district meeting. Oh well...I still have plenty of time before I head off to China.

Signs

Do you believe in signs? Or do we suddenly see some things because we are more aware of them than before because it's something that we want so badly? The optimist in me believes in signs. For example, I went to Jr Greatbooks training today. I have been through this training and the last time I went, the story we read was "Harrison Bergeron." Guess what it was today? A Chinese folktale! Sign or just a coincidence? Am I trying to grasp for something that isn't there? I haven't a clue, but I want to believe that it's God's way of telling me that to be patient...my daughter in China is somewhere out there waiting for me (either waiting to be born). I realized that it will be less than a year. Less than a year is not bad when you think of it. I just can't look back and think, "Wow! I've already been waiting 4 months, not to mention that I started my paperwork back in January!" But if I put that into perspective, I have already invested 9 months into this journey. Nine months! I'm halfway there! I've already done that time, what is 9 more months going to be like? I have to look at it this way or it'll kill me. Have I considered looking at the Waiting Child list? Absolutely! Will I apply? Probably not. It'slike checking out the RQ site everyday. I have to do it. I don't believe everything, but sometimes it gives me a little something to hold onto. Did I also mention I got my baby June doll? She's too cute. I'll have to post her picture on this blog. See, that's 2 signs for today. Could China be speeding up? Maybe or maybe not.

Shopping Anyone?

Okay, everyone who knows me knows how much I LOOOOOVE to shop. But of course, it has to be on sale...so what did I do? I shopped. I found THE BEST bedding set for Grace. It's called Cute Calico. It's in my colors and has flowers and butterflies on it. I LOVE it! I read one of my adoption books that said that I should be setting up her room because it gets me feeling like a soon to be parent! Wow! It's like 9 or 10 more months, but the cool thing is, I think it made me feel this way. When I was checking out, the lady at JC Penney's commented on how pretty it was and I was like, "Yeah!" Then she asked if I wanted a gift receipt. I was kind of offended. I know I don't look pregnant, but geez, it is for me. I didn't say anything. I hate going into the whole, "I'm adopting from China" with complete strangers...which brings me to something else that happened today at lunch. A colleague asked me about the wait and I told her when another colleague interrupted with, "What?" so I had to explain it to her (don't you hate it when people butt into your conversation without asking???) ANYWAYS, I explained to her that I was adopting a baby from China and she asked me "How does that work?" and "Why?" Let's just say, we aren't really friends, just colleagues. She wanted to know why I didn't naturally have a child, like artificial inseminiation. So, this is how I explained things. "I don't think it would be a great idea for me to show up at school knocked up. We're in a middle school and I could honestly say, "I haven't a clue of who my baby's daddy is...what kind of role model would I be? The librarian is knocked up!" I also had to add that I didn't have a biological urge to have a child...just wanted to be a mom and haven't found the right man to marry. I am at that stage in life where I want to be a parent and frankly, I'm financially, emotionally stable and have a great support system, so why not????

The next question made me laugh? Was I going to stay home with her? Hello...Single parent!!!! Next question. I know I am being harsh here, but I am surprised at the audacity of some people. Would you go up to someone you really didn't know and ask really personal questions if it wasn't volunteered to you? Seriously. But, I guess that will be something I will have to accept. I know I will be questioned about my decision to be a single parent as well as being a single parent to a child who is not of my ethnicity or race or country. I get it. I'm starting to be prepared for these inquisitions. Maybe I'll handle it with better grace next time.

Dreams
By Van Halen
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Introduction

I've started writing this blog, in part to show my daughter when she gets old enough what was happening during my adoption journey and also to share with others what it's like to be a singleton adopting a child.

So, I'll start with my background. I'm 34, single, and a school librarian. I have always wanted to be a mother, but I haven't found the right man to marry. Last year, I took a hard look at my life and realized that I was ready to be a parent: a house, a dog, a great job, and an awesome support system, so I came to the conclusion that I was ready and that adoption was my answer for realizing my dream of parenthood. I did a lot of research and went to several adoption seminars on adopting from China. I did a lot of praying and then I submitted my application. It's really competitive to get a single slot and I was blessed with a spot. I began my ardouous paperwork chase in January, completing it in May. My paperwork was sent to China in May and a week later, I got a LID (Log In Date) of May 24th, 2006.

It looks like the wait will be over a year. It is tough but, I know that somewhere in China, my daughter is waiting for me (she's probably not even born). The time will be right when I get my referral. The hard part is answering the question, "When do you get her?" Honestly, I don't know!