Major Meltdown at Target...Lord Help Me! The 2s

Yes, that was my kid screaming at the top of her lungs this morning at SuperTarget. No, I didn't spank her. No, I didn't yell or scream at her. Yes, she was getting tired (close to nap). No, I hope she isn't sick. Yes, I was close to the end of my rope and I almost had it. Yes, I felt uncomfortable with the stares. My daughter was having a temper tantrum because she was trying to put a Yo Gabba Gabba video down my shirt and I already told her no and I told her the next time I was going to put Yo Gabba Gabba video in the cart. Yep, that's what I did. That is how I "abused" my child. I put the video in the cart and refused to give it back to her. So, please cashier lady...I know you were trying to quiet my kid (and yes, I know how sad she looks when she's crying and crying enough to make herself choke)...leave her be. I really hated the looks and was embarassed but what could I do? I guess we could have left the store but we had driven 30 minutes so we could buy a birthday present for the party we are going to tomorrow. The good thing is that she fell asleep on the way home. We got the gift and now she's taking a nap and I can take a breath and relax a bit. The terrible twos...gotta love them. NOT!

Flip Flopped

Renal scan was today. Gracie did well. She cried most of the time but she was still. She has discovered Yo Gabba Gabba so we did a lot of singing of the Yo Gabba Gabba theme in the waiting room which I think helped. So, the tech kept asking me things about transposition and I told her that she didn't have transposition in her heart. She just kind of shook her head and I got the feeling that something weird was up and of course that made me worry a bit. I decided though that I wasn't going to stress and if there was something wrong, Dr. Oliver would call. So, this afternoon, who do I get a call from? Yep, the great Dr. Oliver (I mean this truly...she is the BEST pediatrician ever). She was calling to check on how Grace was doing. I told her better but I felt that the cedar was not helping her. I told her that we got the scan done today and she says that they already faxed the results to her and her kidneys look great and that they found something interesting. Ok...first thought is interesting is a neutral word...is she going to drop a bombshell on me? She does but it's nothing horrible. It turns out that Grace's liver and spleen are flip-flopped, meaning they are on the opposite sides of where they should be. But they are healthy and this happens sometimes with heart kiddos, especially with the severe heart issue she has. It is good to know about this on so many different levels! She was surprised the hospital hadn't told her. Guess they were more interested in her circulatory system. So, all is good in our world.

Here Comes the Sun

Not only has the weather here gotten so lovely lately but I'm seeing the silver lining all around me. I'm so thankful for the kind words and encouragement. My friend tells me it's only natural to have these overwhelming feelings and even more so when you're a single mom and sleep deprived. My dear girl is finally feeling better. I had no problem getting her to bed and she slept through the night without major coughing. YEA! I'm all about the routines but I changed it up a bit yesterday and tried it again tonight and it seems to work. So even if I want to get her asleep before 8 p.m., I need to put her down closer to 7:30. We watched Jack's Big Music Show or Yo Gabba Gabba then put on our pjs, read some books (her faves are Pat the Bunny, The Very Busy Spider and Go Dog Go!), say our prayers and go to bed. I put her down at 7:20 and she was asleep by 7:30. YEA!

I could tell that she was feeling better because she was bopping her head this morning to the radio when she woke up (my child loves Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas). When she was laying on my bed waiting for me to finish getting ready I hear her little voice sing "Mama, mama" when the line said, "I got it from my mama. I got it from my mama." She's starting to imitate me when I do certain things like lick my fingers when turning a stuck page. It's funny.

We went to the eye doctor today and we got good news...no glasses at least for six months. YEA!
Monday, Grace gets her renal scan and Friday her hearing test. We don't see the genecticist until March. If she does indeed have the Triple X syndrome, it could be our ticket into the Ready Set Start program earlier than we expected. That's a good thing. Life is good and I'm finally breathing again peacefully.

Bitter with the Sweet

It has been a rough couple of days. Grace is sick AGAIN! It turns out she has the croup plus an ear infection and then today we went back because she wasn't getting any better. She was fussy all afternoon and screamed...Yes, screamed, not cried, for over an hour before bed last night and was fussy again this morning. It turns out that on top of the other two things, she also has strep. This has been like the 4th time she's had it. But it gets better...Tuesday afternoon the developmental pediatrician calls to tell me Grace's lab work came back with an issue...something in her chromosomes. So, I kind of let it go because she was a little concerned about Grace's thyroid level and my pediatrician said it wasn't a big deal. So, I was good until 4 pm on Tuesday when Grace's pediatrician, the fantastic Dr. Oliver called (she did, not her nurse) and she was pretty serious. So, to make a long story short, we now have to have more tests on body systems as well as see a Genecticist. How fun is that? How much more can my baby take? We're going to the eye doctor tomorrow and Grace may be getting glasses. It has just been one of those weeks. I am trying hard to keep it together.

Awwww cr*p!

As I climbed my stairs for the third time in five minutes like the pack mule I have become because I forgot my debit card, I uttered aloud, "Awwww crap!" Not a second later, a little voice in my arms repeats the lovely word several times with a big ol grin. She's very proud of herself. Not that she knows what it means (though I suspect she really does because that grin was one of those, "I got ya now but I'm super duper cute.") I really try to watch what I say but that seems to be the one word that I need to work on harder. Good thing it sounds like "up" because I would hate for her teachers to think that her mama is a potty mouth.

Blankies, tiaras and Dudes

My daughter can be very peculiar. Her big thing right now is her blankies. She loves to smell them and she wants other people to smell them too. At night, she sticks her blankies through the slats in her crib and wants me to smell her blankie and then pass it back through the slats. The other interesting thing that she is doing is wearing her birthday tiara everywhere. And everybody, well family memeber that is, has to wear one too. She wears them to the doctor, to go out to eat, everywhere. I guess she truly is an empress.

The one thing she is doing that concerns me is that she goes upto strange men. We were at Ihop on Friday and the busguy gave her her blankie that was on her chair. She looked at him and then stuck her arms up for him to pick her up. I was getting our stuff together and my hands were full before I could stop it. He actually picked her up. I'm worried about this behavior. I have noticed that it's only with men, not women. She's done it before but didn't ask them to pick her up. She just went up to a table full of young guys and gave them high fives. That time it didn't occur to me as a bad thing but not I'm concerned. Is it because she doesn't have a dad, only a grandfather? Or is it because she's not familiar with men in general. I just worry that it could lead to something bad.

Happy New Year

So, when you have a 2 year old who you have to put to bed at 7:30ish, watching the ball drop or going to a party is probably not an option. I have to admit that I had some longings for the carefree, footloose and fancy free days of the past. I was a bit envious of my friend D, who was able to go to a party (I'm glad she had fun...I hope she had fun for me). I was in bed by 10:30. I hardly even rolled over when I heard the fireworks. I think it really hit me that I am a mom and my daughter is a priority and I can't just do the things I did before. I miss going to the movies...I miss leisurely shopping...I miss going to dinner with my friends past 7 p.m. One of these days I'll get back to that but right now I'm doing what I need and want to do. Change is hard but it's good and it makes you grow as a person.

I can't believe we are in 2010 already. Six months with Grace have passed and it just seems to have happened so quickly. My 20 year high school reunion is in June. I'm a little freaked out by that. I am going to go and I've already asked my mom to watch Grace. I used to think about New Year's resolutions but I haven't even thought about them. I think I just want to take it day by day, be a good, patient mom to Grace. I would love to lose weight but we'll just see how it goes. For right now, I'm taking baby steps.