Sixteen months and Bad Rumors

It has now been sixteen months since I have been logged in for Grace. A wait that was originally projected at a year continues to expand. I know in the end it will be worth it. I just take it a day at a time and pray for patience and a speedup. I really hope that it doesn't go over 24 months.

I have started reading RQ again and now the buzz is that an American agency is getting their referrals way ahead of everybody else. People are debating on how it should be handled. I agree that it is unethical, if this is the case. And it does suck if it is the case. However, I have to remind myself that not all people are ethical in the word and we've seen this sort of behavior in international adoption in other countries. I guess many of us who are adopting from China believed, hoped, that it wouldn't happen there. We have been told that it's a predictable process and that's one of the reasons so many of us adopt from China. Is there anything we can do? What would be the possible outcomes if we caused an inquisition? Does China really care? Should the agencies be the one to police this? I don't have an answer. Getting upset over something like this really is a waste of energy for me because the only person it affects would be me. I have no control over that situation. I have better things to freak out over. It should be interesting to see how this situation plays out. Will it impact future adoptions from China for those of us waiting? Who knows, but I for one know my daughter is in China and I'll be reuinted with her at the right time.

The Moldy Library

I don't know if I already told ya'll this but it is now official: my library has mold. Well, we knew that but finally Central Office believes us. It took the mold guy to say so. Before, it was just the allergens outside making us sick. But, even though they have admitted it, you know it will take ages for them to fix the problem. According to them, it's a design problem. Actually, it's the brainiac who put the humidity censor in our office (which was 4 years ago) and when the doors are closed, it doesn't sense the humidity level in the actual library and so it doesn't cool because it thinks it's peachy because it is only sensing my office. It was fine when they messed with the Air Conditioning three years ago. Oh well. The bad thing is that we've been getting headaches and stuffiness as a result of the mold. Right now, I'm pretty bad off with the stuffy nose and sore throat. It's especially bad this year (actual mold on the books) because we had a very rainy summer and they kept the air conditioner off. Again...Central Office has a bunch of BRILLIANT people making great decisions. Let's hope they get it together.

On a brighter note, Diane, my awesome Waiting Buddy, sent me the coolest lady bug sun catcher and rolling bug. I also saw a ladybug on my trash can yesterday morning. I was so excited. I left him/her alone and I hope that it will bring a speedup and a big ol batch of referrals.

Prepping for the Homestudy Update

I'm getting ready for my homestudy update. I have an appointment on September 24th. I was checking out my house and thinking, "Boy, I need to get this place together again." So, that is what I'll be doing. I don't know how things accumulate, but they do. I know that when I become a mom, it'll compound even faster. I'll also be sending in my paperwork to renew my I-171 H. It expires in October. I'm hoping this that this will be the only time I'll renew. I've spoken to my referral counselor and she seems to be optimistic that it'll be around 2 years or a bit more. I'm going to be optimistic and pray and wish for that. I have bunches of people praying for that and I believe in the power of prayer.

On a brighter note, I'm going to Disneyland with my niece in October. I'm so excited. We're going for a Thursday through Saturday. Yippee. I am a big ol kid. I can't wait for Space Mountain!

Stork Landings and Time Frames

I really do love stork landings. I love to read people's blogs and share their joy in getting their precious referrals. I like to live vicariously through them because it gives me hope knowing that one day it will be me waiting for the call, posting my referral on this blog. It's exciting. So, here is my hope...not my miracle hope, but my hope...the wait stays about 21 to 24 months and not much more. I really would love for it to get shorter and I still pray for that (that would be my miracle request)...but 21 to 24 months, I think it's something I can try to deal with. It will be frustrating but in the end, so very worth it. Yeah, and I think I am going to light some candles and do some novenas.

On a brighter note, I lost 4.8 lbs my first week on Weight Watchers. Yea for me.

So, when will it be my turn?

Three teachers...count them three oh wait four, if you include a male teacher whose wife is expecting are having babies this Spring. So, yes, I'm feeling a little whiny! When is it MY TURN? I waited longer than all of them. It's not fair, fair, fair! Okay, deep breath, I have it out of my system, (I think...probably until the baby showers and then I'm going to feel all whiny again). So this is what I think...if they are all getting their babies in 08, then so am I gosh darnit. I think what bothers me is the "I'm so excited for all the pregnant people" from everybody around and then they look at me, ask the dreaded question of when and give you this sad, pathetic look when you tell them you don't know, it's taking longer than expected. It's the pity look I think that hurts worse than the words. So, this is what I want to tell people, but honestly, I don't know if I have it in me because I think it would come out offensive to them. Here it is..."Thank you for caring about me and my child. I know that you care, but your questions and pity looks are a reminder of my wait which is hard enough. I have to put on my happy face and tell myself everyday that it's not in my time but in God's time, but you know, I am human and it really sucks that my wait keeps increasing and increasing. I struggle everyday and sometimes I don't even want to think about my daughter who is waiting for me in China because I don't have her physically with me. If you know you have something important in another place and you couldn't get it right away, wouldn't it be torture for you, especially if people keep bringing it up and you know there is nothing that you can do? So please, for my own sanity, please don't ask me anymore. If I hear anything, you can better believe that I'm going to be shouting it from the rooftops." I know we are all trying to keep our happy faces on and we don't want to hear the negative. I know I don't do especially well hearing the gloom and doom. I really do try to be positive. Sometimes I wish that I hadn't said anything to anyone. Hindsight is 20-20. I will make it as well all of us who are waiting. We get it and we have each other to cry with. So, I am going to pick myself up now from my pity party, raise a toast to all of us (with soymilk) and say, "We will be getting our children sooner than we expect!" Cheers ya'll