We've been out of the hospital almost 3 weeks and it seems that life is suddenly on fast forward. I always feel like I'm trying to catch up. I came to the conclusion yesterday afternoon at work that it was never going to happen. I just had to give up the fight and get done what needs to be done...forget about the stuff that I would have like to have done but it'll be okay if it never gets done, and just keep up with the present..I call it real life treading water. I am keeping my head above water. It's not just work (which I do love but it sucks this year that I have lost having an assistant so that makes it a lot more difficult) but just keeping up with the medical side of my sweet and sassy girl...every week week there are 2 days of PT/OT & Speech, one afternoon visit by JuneBug the best homehealth care nurse to do INR (finger poke tests for coumadin), and I've added Play therapy to the mix. 3 afternoons a week we have something and my parents take her for speech and OT on Monday mornings. I'm getting up at 5 a.m. to give her round 1 of her meds and then as we are walking out the door around 7:15ish, round 2 of meds (that I have to compound) and in between that time her asthma puffs. When we get home in the afternoon repeat the morning routine but throw in some coumadin (that also has to be compounded). Someone told me today that they didn't know how I did it but you have to...there isn't another choice. I have to remind myself that I would rather have my Gracie than not have to have all this "insanity" of medical mania. And you know, if you really think about it, there are parents out there that have to deal with a lot more than what I deal with. I don't have feeding tubes or catheters or wheel chairs. Those parents truly are amazing. Whenever we go to a Starlight Foundation event, I am reminded of that. I have a very smart, amazing, funny, beautiful, sassy miracle child. I'm blessed. She reminds me of the beauty, love and power of God. And she's doing great! She's back at school helping her "boyfriend" Danny out by reminding him to put on his glasses or put his blankie in the cubby. She's crossing her arms when she thinks she was wronged and is not afraid to say something about it. She's got an opinion about everything under the sun and is always asking why. I think I'm going to try to follow my daughter's advice of slowing down.