Monday, April 25, 2011


You know your kid is getting sick when she has meltdown upon meltdown all weekend so bad that she's hyperventilating.  She won't tell you she's having problems breathing but you sure find out quick.  So, we had a rough weekend, to the point where all weekend Max & Ruby watching was taken away and I was pretty sure the Easter Bunny wasn't going to visit but in the end I know that being 3 and having a hard time breathing is a decent excuse for second chances.  We had a better Easter, especially since she slept in instead of going to Mass (which we both needed).  Needless to say, the EB did come and he brought her the Jeep that Santa got on sale during Christmas...good thing because it is small and it fits right now.  She drives like a maniac and hasn't mastered steering or braking.  All in good time though.  She calls it her "Beep". 

This week is TAKS testing.  YUCK!  I get to be a test administrator, lucky me.  I'll be glad when this week if over.  We also get to go to National Wish Day this Friday at Morgan's Wonderland, which we are excited about.  Fifteen more days until Gracie's cath.  UGH!  We have been talking about that lately.  I don't want to sugar-coat it and I want her to know it's coming.  I always tell her about those types of things and I don't lie about them.  We talk about how scary it is and that I'll be there to help her.  I also think of treats for I have a Max & Ruby DVD for the cath.  For the surgery we'll do some sort of surprise every day while we are in the hospital.  I have also talked about why we are doing this too that she has a heart that is special and needs extra help.  I know it frustrates her because she wants to be like everybody else.  But we take it a day at a time.  She was pushing her baby, Kiki in her stroller the other day and I thought, "Will she have the opportunity to be a mommy?" and "She can adopt if she wants.."  Who knows what the future holds for any of us.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dang You Texas government!

Last Thursday started out as a great day. I went to TLA in Austin the day before. Got to meet some great authors and speak to awesome people. The morning was fabulous. And then right at the end of the day the words, "I need to visit with Shannon" came out of my principal's mouth. I knew then that I was losing her as my assistant. What I didn't know was that she totally lost her job after being at my school for 9 years. She has been with me for 7. I cried and cried and cried after my initial shock wore off. She not only is my library assistant, she steps up when we can't find a sub (she's taking classes to be a teacher), she laminates, does the morning live announcements, helps fill in for ISS, attendance and sometimes the front office, troubleshoots technology and other stuff, not to mention all of the library stuff. There will be an opening in attendance but she was told that because she doesn't speak Spanish, she wouldn't be hired...REALLY? REALLY? REALLY? I just don't get it. The counselors who deal extensively with parents don't speak a lick of Spanish and they get by...front office, tex-mex...REALLY???? I don't understand why. Hard worker, multitasker, familiar with the job, sounds like a candidate to me...I just feel so helpless and angry and sad and scared. I am losing one of my closest friends and there is nothing I can do to help. I don't really know who I am upset with...I think the bottom line is that the Texas government has really failed Texas and Texas education. We are losing some of the best. It's so scary to be in education. Heck, it could be me next year. I don't know. All I know is that I'm really sad. I know that when a door is "closed', God opens a window. I truly believe that but I wish I knew how to give comfort and reassurance to someone who had a crappy hand dealt to her. I am still praying for a miracle!

Speaking of miracles, my miracle, Miss Gracie and I went to the coast last weekend. We enjoyed getting away even though the coastline was covered in seaweed and was cold. But, my child LOVED the water and didn't want to leave on Sunday. My poor niece was sick the whole time.

I can't believe we are at the end of April. In a couple of weeks we will be having Grace's cath procedure and get the total lowdown and what's going to happen surgery-wise. I am preparing myself mentally, or at least trying to because I have a feeling it's going to be a crazy summer. We will be going on our Make a Wish trip in June and we can't wait. So, good stuff before the yucky.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Happy Birthday to Me

On Wednesday, I turned 39.  The night before, I received the most unexpected and incredible birthday gift from a complete stranger.  She posted some orphanage pictures during the time that my Gracie was there. When I read the message on my phone, I kept hoping and hoping that maybe I would be able to see her at 6 1/2 months old.  Of course, technology was not working with me that day.  Finally after trying and trying to get it to come up on my phone, I tried my school laptop.  I didn't think it would come up because we have a lot of filters.  Lo and behold I was able to access my orphanage group and at first, I didn't see my girl.  But when I flipped through to wardsthe end, I thought, that one up front sure looks like my her, could it be???  I printed it out and asked Shannon.  I wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing things.  Yep, lo and behold my girl was sitting in a walker with the same look she does.  I was so excited.  I had another piece of my baby's puzzle.  That was the best feeling of the year.  I am so eternally grateful to that mom.  It was the best present ever.

Speaking of presents, my friend Shannon gave me a great giftcard and her words to me were this..."You it on yourself and not Grace."  I love it!  She knows me too well and how I have a hard time spending money on me and don't bat an eye spending money on my girl.  I used to be the one who had all of the cute clothes.  Now I'm a scrounger of my closet.  I think we moms tend to do that but I'm learning it is okay to buy cute clothes too.  I finally got my hair cut and colored on my birthday.  So, it's kind of a goal to do a little better in the clothing, makeup and hair department.  It hurt when my mom said that I let myself go.  It was brutally honest.  At the time, I didn't like to hear it.  But, I think I needed to hear it and was ready to hear it.  So, I'm going to get back to at least caring about my appearance! 

And...another cool thing, I'm going to go see Rock of Ages with Shannon, her hubby and one of their family members.  I can't wait!  It's not until May but it is something to look forward to.  That and the coast. 

Things have been good.  We went back to the doctor for another strep test to be on the safe side and she tested negative again.  We think it's the oak that is making her mocoso and yucky coughing at night.  I'm just praying and praying we'll keep being healthy and strong.  We have surgery this summer and we all need to be healthy and ready and cute!!!!!